I often refer to hilarious things I’ve read on the Internet as being from “one of my Twitter friends” This qualification is fairly new. I used to just call them friends, but people tease me when I tell them about friends I’ve never met in real life. I’ve never understood this. Is there a difference because I haven’t been able to shake their hand? Is a friend more valuable because I’ve been lucky enough to meet them in person?

Wait, of course there’s a difference. You’ve never shared a drink, or a cup of coffee, or been able to hug it out with your online friends. However, you’ve found your online friends through a shared connection, one that isn’t based on location. If we assume that connection has something to do with your interests, work or emotional needs, wouldn’t the connection you share with your online friends be more valuable?

While I love having friends over for dinner and spending countless hours all over town with my crew, when I need something, I often turn to my online friends. I ask them for advice and for introductions to people I haven’t met before. I have even asked them for work.

Is it still that nerdy to meet friends online or is it a great way to meet likeminded people? Do you see a difference between online and offline friends? Do you value one group more than the other?

Update: A comment from @myownbiggestfan  

I was hanging out with some friends last week and I had just checked my phone and a Twitter pal in L.A. had posted a picture of their dog and it was pretty cute.

ME: “Oh, look, my friend posted a picture of their dog. So cute.”
FRIEND: “Who’s dog is that?”
“A friend from Twitter”
“Have you ever met?”
“No, not in real life”
“So, not a real friend then”

I bristled at that. The “not real” friend is the wife of a “real” friend’s ex-coworker from years ago. I got along with both of them pretty much instantly. We recommend TV shows and movies to each other, we know each other’s tastes well. I had helped design their wedding invites, which they repaid me (without me requesting or even wanting) in a small, thoughtful gift. I also play iPhone boardgames with them, more so than I can get together with “real” friends. We even converse with each other more than either of us do with the person we met through, who lives in the same city as me. (not by design, just circumstances)

(sorry if that paragraph is unintelligible)

I was actually a little offended that someone would try and characterize my friendship with these people as less than tangible, I didn’t say anything though, because it really wasn’t worth it. Some people are open to having a friendship that is buffered by some mode of communication, some aren’t.

The fact is that the internet isn’t “nerdy” anymore. When bar-stars are using it to get laid just as much as the role-playing game geeks, it’s just mainstream. This hasn’t been an issue for almost 10 years now. What is in dispute is how much time people are willing to put into an online friendship, and from that follows how much weight that person is willing to put ON that friendship. I spend quite a bit of time here, so my online friendships are important.

That said, I’m still fucking awkward whenever I meet one of you people in real life.